The Haunted House
by paulatheprokaryote
Summary: Lee Jordan stops by Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes close to Halloween and regrets it instantly. This story is part of my autumn stories collection to get in the mood for the upcoming season!


"Fred? George?" Lee Jordan called into the shop, struggling to push the door open. Instead of the usual jingle of the doorbell, a high pitched scream rippled through the air, causing Lee to leap in the air and shriek. He clutched his heart for several seconds to calm down.

"What the bloody hell was that?" He asked to no one in particular.

A few lights in the back twinkled in the darkness. Lee assumed they must be in the experimental chamber working on a new creation. He tried to flick on the light switch, but the darkness remained.

"Lads?" He called again, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. These were dark times and several shops in Diagon Alley had been targeted recently. He began to feel a bit uneasy.

"You lot better be here! I had to miss dinner to come!" Lee complained. His eyes couldn't quite adjust to the darkness. A deep rumble shook the building and Lee gripped the shelf beside him for stability, knocking over a few tins full of Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder. With a blast of air that pushed his hair backwards, several small somethings flew from the backroom, a million wings beating against his ears at once, swarming around his body. He shrunk inward, screaming in horror.

"HELP, FRED! GEORGE! MERLIN! ANYBODY!" Lee shrieked as he swatted the fluttering bodies. He stumbled backwards toward the door. The swarm dispersed as quickly as it materialized and Lee cowered to the floor.

He sat on the floor and hugged his knees to his rising and falling chest. He very much wanted to run and not turn back, but his best friends were in the building somewhere and he had to make sure they were okay. He gulped in some air and pulled himself up, dusting his hands on his denim. He carefully stepped over some of the knocked over products.

His eyes started to adjust despite the trace of the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder still in the air. He stepped around the love potion fountain, glowing bright in the unnatural darkness. He blinked several times before he realized that the fountain that usually glowed a neon purple was actually a crimson red. He frowned and stuck a finger into the fountain. He grimaced at the hot, viscous liquid that was spurting out of the fountain. Then the stench hit his nostrils. The coppery smell of blood. He gagged, realizing what the liquid was and stumbled backwards, into a blanket of cold. He whirled around in surprise only to come face to face with a gruesome, vile looking ghoul.

The ghoul had dark, rotting holes where eyes should have been. Blood seeped out of the empty sockets, oozing down its cheeks. It was pale and sickly and decaying in appearance, like a corpse that had been rotting for far too long before being discovered. The worst thing about the creature in front of him, the thing that triggered his flight or fight response, was the smile. Its cheeks were spread wide and in place of regular teeth there were rows of razor sharp fangs. The creature slowly tilted its head, smiling widening in response to his terror. Lee fumbled in his back pocket for his wand, bargaining with higher beings for the second chance at life he felt he deserved.

The ghoul lunged at him, Lee's wand still stuck in his pocket. He yanked it with all his strength, trying desperately to think of a spell to ward the ghoul off. The ghoul was upon him in a blink of an eye and Lee screeched, curling into fetal position.

He peeked one eye open, half expecting to be dead, only to realize he was still in the shop. He popped the other eye open. He was still alive. He sat up slowly, glancing around. The ghoul was gone. Had he imagined the entire thing?

Lee suddenly felt his bladder protest all of these nightmares. He needed to make his way to the loo now or else his day would get a lot worse. He shuffled to the loo, peering in suspiciously. He kicked the doors open to each stall with a powerful thud, thud, thud. He hurried over to the door and locked it before relieving himself.

He was vigilant, glancing around the entire stall just in case something popped up. Just as he zipped his pants back up, his fears were validated. A head rose from the toilet. He stumbled back into the stall door and jiggled the lock frantically. Red dripping hair came from the bowl first, followed by a pasty white face marked with black and red paint. A terrible grinning clown levitated slowly, stepping out of the toilet. The dripping nightmare created puddles with each step toward Lee and he slammed his fist against the lock, jarring it enough to pop open. He reached again for his wand in his pocket, but this time it was gone. He twitched to the left looking for another way out. The clown cracked its knuckles. He glanced to the right, at the tiny window that he probably couldn't fit in. He spun around and ran to the door, twisting the lock as fast as he could. He sprinted out into the darkness. He sprung behind the extendable ear aisle, crouching against the shelves.

He heard it and it made his heart leap, trying to escape his chest entirely. A high pitched honk. He realized instantly what the noise was. It was the shiny red nose of the clown. The honking got closer and closer, so close that he was sure it was right on top of him. He peered through the shelves trying to locate it in the dark. He saw a flash of polka dot pants and held his breath. He dropped down to his hands and knees and army crawled toward the back room. He just needed to get to the experimental chamber. If Fred and George weren't there he would just assume they got out and were safe somewhere else. He'd just sprint to the exit and be done with it.

The honk got even closer and he somehow knew that it was now or never. He leaped up from his crawl, only meters from the hallway that led to the back room. He sprinted, the clown began honking its nose so quickly in excitement that it just sounded like one long beep. He dashed, the clown hot on his tail, and lunged into the experimental room. He slammed the door behind him, the clown pushing back with all its might. He threw his entire body against the door, crushing the clown's fingers in the process. It retracted and the lock clicked. He pressed his back against the door, clutched his heart once again, and desperately tried to catch his breath.

"Not bad, Lee! You completely circumvented the fellow with the chainsaw, the evil baby, and the mutant spider monster. We'll have to work on the routes to make sure the customers get the full experience." Fred was beaming at him.

"YOU!" Lee boomed, facing boiling hot with rage.

"Me? Or him? We look pretty similar." George joked, pointing at his brother.

"Both of you! You're–Well–You're–" Lee was at a loss for words.

"We'll definitely also have to strengthen the sticking charm on the merchandise. You detonated a lot of the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder." George complained with a sour face.

"What do you think about adding a boggart after the ghoul?" Fred asked George with a thoughtful expression.

"A boggart? That's it! We're going under! You won't have any customers anymore because they'll all DIE of fright!" Lee hissed. His heart rate still wasn't back to normal.

"Oh, don't be dramatic." George laughed dismissively.

"Hey, want to see your pictures? We're putting them at the end of the haunted house for friends and family to buy." Fred asked, gesturing to a weird device with a series of Lee's terrified faces plastered on the monitors.

"Quality blackmail material." George agreed.

Instead of replying, Lee unlocked the door and walked out. He was going to go have dinner in peace and maybe put up a few flyers for new best friends. 

* * *

A/N: This prompt came from the lovely, inspiring, majestic Tanya (WriteYourHeartOut)


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